11 Ways To Be A Better Player


I found a very interesting thread that had an inordinate amount of people responding / agreeing / disagreeing / discussing.  It really is a good read, but in case you can’t be bothered, here is a shortened version.

The full thread is here:



Edit: Since I published this piece a few months ago, an awful lot of people have looked at it and several of them have complained about the swear words in it. If you’re upset by profanity, I’ve written a version with all the rude bits removed that you can read and share instead.)

I have read a LOT of articles online about how to be a good Gamesmaster. It’s something that fascinates me. I get a really good buzz off a game gone well that’s hard to replicate without sex or drugs, and getting hold of those both often involves more effort than I’m willing to put in. I want to get better at running games; I strive towards it. It is a passion. I have read more books on Gamesmastery than I have on, say, the subject of my degree.

But it’s incredibly rare to find an article that teaches you how to play, and surely that’s more common? Surely for every GM there are, on average, four players? There’s this weird disconnect, that the responsibility to entertain lies squarely with the person behind the screen, and that the players just turn up and absorb it. And that’s bollocks, clearly.

So this is a thing I have written, because there is not enough of it online. It is a handful of tips on becoming a better player. I have absorbed and stolen it from a few sources, such as this thread that I started on Reddit and from my friends on Facebook, this video on Improv and Graham Walmsley’s book Playing Unsafe. Thanks to everyone for your wisdom.


ONE. Do stuff.

Job One for you as a player is to do stuff; you should be thinking, at all times – “What are my goals? And what can I do to achieve them?”  You are the stars of a very personal universe, and you are not going to get anywhere by sitting on your arse and waiting for adventure to come and knock on your door.

Investigate stuff.  Ask questions.  Follow leads.  No-one needs you to point out that this is an obvious plot thread while you do it.  Mix up scenes, talk to people, get up in their grill.  If you’re not playing the sort of character that would do such a thing, find something you can affect, and affect it.

If you keep finding yourself pushed to the back of scenes and twiddling your thumbs – why is such a boring character hanging around with the sort of people that Get Shit Done?

Be active, not passive.  If you learn nothing else from this article, bloody learn this.


TWO. Realise that your character does not exist outside of the things you have said.

You can write as many pages of backstory as you like, mate, but they don’t factor in one bit to the game unless you show them happening.  Are you a shrewd businessman?  Cool.  Do some business, shrewdly, in front of everyone else.  Are you a hot jazz saxophonist?  Play the saxophone.  Are you a wild elf struggling through social interactions with civilised people?  Struggle through those interactions!  Don’t go off and sit in a tree, you prick!

This ties back into the first point, really; you only exist through your actions.  It is not the responsibility of other players to read your backstory, and their characters cannot read minds.  Well.  Some of them can, but you know what I mean.  They shouldn’t have to.

So display your talents, your traits, your weaknesses, your connections.  Take every opportunity to show, and not tell, the other people at the table what your character is about.


THREE. Don’t try to stop things.

Negating another player’s actions is fairly useless play; it takes two possible story-changing elements and whacks them against each other so hard that neither of them works.  For example, your fighter wants to punch some jerk, but your monk’s against it, so he grabs the fighter’s hand.  In game terms, nothing’s happened.  All you’ve done is waste time, and we don’t have infinite supplies of that.

Instead, go with the flow.  Build.  If the fighter wants to break someone’s nose, what happens after that?  Does your monk rush to help the jerk up?  To admonish the fighter?  To apologise to the jerk’s friends, before shit really kicks off?  To save the fighter in the big brawl that ensues, even though he was going against your will?  Or to throw the biggest guy in the tavern right at him, to really teach him a lesson?  Those are all examples of interesting stories.  Stopping him from doing anything whatsoever isn’t.

Don’t negate, extrapolate. (See, that rhymes, so it’s easier to remember)


FOUR. Take full control of your character.

“My character wouldn’t do that” is a boring excuse, a massive NO to the game’s story on a fundamental level.  It’s a point-blank refusal to participate.

Instead of being bound by pre-conceived notions of what your character would and would not do, embrace complications and do it, but try to work out why.  Why is your Rogue doing this mission for the church?  Does he have ulterior motives?  Is it out of a sense of companionship with the rest of the party?  Characters in uncomfortable situations are the meat and drink of drama.

(Do you remember that great story about that hobbit who told Gandalf to f*ck off, and sat at home picking his hairy toes all day before his entire village was swallowed up by the armies of darkness?  No.  No, you bloody don’t.  So put on your backpack and get out there, Frodo)

If you keep finding yourself having to explain your actions, or not wanting to go along with group decisions because of your character’s motives…  Well, sweetheart, maybe your character’s motives are wrong.  They’re not written in stone.  The group’s the thing, not your snowflake character, and if they’re not working, drop them off at the next village and maybe try playing someone more open to new ideas.  Maybe work with the group to build a character that fits in.

Your character is part of the story; this is not your character’s story.


FIVE. Don’t harm other players.

Oh ho, here’s a jolly thief that nicks stuff from the other party members!  And their Sleight of Hand roll is so high that no-one will ever notice!  Gosh, what a jape.

F*ck that guy.  No-one likes that guy. (That guy generally plays Kender, and I am fully of the opinion that Kender should be promptly genocided out of all RPGs.  I don’t think genocide is a crime if we’re talking about Kender.)  If you steal from other players, you are exerting power over them in a really messy, underhanded sort of way.  If they find out, what are they going to do?  Are you going to force them to escalate?  Is it fair if they kill you for it?  Is that fun for them?

Similarly, attacking other players is awful, too.  I’m okay with this where systems fully support and encourage this, of course – something like Paranoia or Dogs in the Vineyard – but, Christ guys, give it a rest.  I am hard-pressed to think of a way where such a thing improves the game; if your group is fine with it, discuss it beforehand.  But keep me out of it.

There are a whole load of things out there to steal from and beat up and kill that won’t get offended when you do it to them, so go bother them first.

Rules Lawyer

SIX. Know the system, don’t be a dick about it.

If you know a system, you are easier to GM for, because you know your character’s limitations.  You can calculate the rough odds of a particular action succeeding or failing, just like in real life.  You can make prompt assessments of situations and act accordingly, because you understand the rules of the world.

(New players, of course, get a free pass on this one.  But do make an effort to learn the rules, obviously, if you’re keen on sticking around in the hobby.)

But for the love of God, don’t rules-lawyer.  Do not do that.  It is not hard to work out, because here is a simple guide – if you are arguing over a rule for more than twenty seconds, you are a rules lawyer.  You are the Health and Safety Inspector of roleplaying games, and you need to stop talking, because you are sucking the fun out of the game.

There are times when the rules are wrong, and that’s fine, but I’m hard-pressed to think of that time the guy remembered the rule and we all laughed and had a great time because he made the GM change it.

Your attention

SEVEN. Give the game your attention.  If you can’t give your full attention, step away from the table.

Hey!  What’s that you’re playing, on your phone there?  Oh, is it Candy Crush Saga?  That’s funny, all these dice and character sheets gave me the impression that we were playing Dungeons and F*cking Dragons, I must be terribly mistaken.

It is hard to think of a way to be more dismissive of someone’s game than playing a different game during it. If you find yourself getting so bored by what’s going on, you’re resorting to playing a game on your phone, or reading a book, or checking Facebook, then step away from the game.  You are draining the group with your very presence.  I would rather have an empty chair than someone who wasn’t paying attention, because I don’t have to entertain an empty chair.

And of course, it’s up to the GM to offer an entertaining game.  This is not one-sided.  But going back to point one, act whenever you can.  Give them something to work with.  Unless you’re paying them money to do this, they are under no obligation to dance like a monkey for you just because they’re behind the screen.


EIGHT. If you make someone uncomfortable, apologise and talk to them about it.

I have a rule in my games, and that rule is: “Nothing f*cks anything else.”  Simple.  Clean.  Elegant.  No sexual conduct; it’s weird, often.  I’ve had seduction attempts, obviously, and that’s fine.  I’ve had characters deeply affected by rape.  I’ve even had someone negotiate time with a skin-thief alien to reanimate a cat for the purposes of sexual pleasure as part of a heist.  But, and this is the crucial thing here, nothing f*cked anything else “onscreen.”  And if you’re thinking, “Ha ha, okay then, but is fisting all right?” Then f*ck off out my game, sunshine.

And that’s the point; in situations like the ones we find ourselves in on a weekly basis, it’s easy to make people feel uncomfortable.  Maybe it’s as blatant as discussing dead babies or bestiality; maybe it’s something much more benign, like being rude or chatting them up in-character.

If you think you might have upset someone, then ask ’em, quietly.  And if you have, apologise, and stop talking about that particular thing.  It’s not rocket science; that’s how existing as a functioning social human being works, and somehow because we’re pretending to be a halfling for a bit, we often forget how to do it.

So, you know, be nice.  Be extra nice.  No-one’s going to think any less of you for it.

tell a story

NINE. Be a Storyteller.

The World of Darkness books call their GM a Storyteller, because they are very obviously unable to call a spade a spade.  But they have a point; a GM is telling stories.  It’s easy to forget that the players are doing that too.

So put some effort in, eh?  Say some words.  Develop a character voice and stance.  Describe your actions.  Work out a level of agency with the GM so you can chip into wider descriptions, or just make assumptions and describe it and see if it sticks.  A good GM should go with what you’re saying, anyway, unless it really goes against their plan.

Similarly, brevity = soul of wit, and all that.  A good GM doesn’t monologue, or have their NPCs have long discussions, or make players sit back and watch while their world plays out.  So know when to shut up, and to keep your descriptions short – unless you’re an incredible storyteller, of course.  But short and punchy is always better than long and flowery.


TEN. Embrace failure.

Failure can be embarrassing.  I know that I get pretty het up when the dice don’t favour me – when I’ve spent ages waiting to have my turn in a large game, say, or when I’m using some special power, or when I’ve been talking a big talk for a while or described some fancy action – and I use some pretty bad language, too.  And not ‘fun’ bad language, like we all do when we’re gaming.  Like threatening, ‘is this guy okay’ bad.

And that’s not cool.  I need to learn to treat failure as a story branch, not a block.  Why did I miss?  Why didn’t my intimidation roll work?  Why didn’t I pick the lock?  Why was I seen?  Who worked out that I’m the traitor?  What other options can I explore?

Some systems build this in by default – Apocalypse World, for example – and they give you the ability to somehow affect the world whenever you roll the dice, not just fail to affect someone’s Hit Points.  That’s great!  We need to get ourselves into that mindset by default.  We need to view failures as setbacks and explain why our character didn’t achieve their goal, and we need to understand that failure is not the end of the world.


ELEVEN. Play the game.

This is a game.  This is not a challenge that exists solely in the head of your GM.  This is not your character’s personal story arc.  This is not your blog.  This is not an excuse to chat up one of the other players.  This is not a table to sit at in silence.  This is a game.

We have signed up to play a game together.  We are all telling a story with each other, to each other, and the story comes first.  Step back from the heat of combat; step back from your character’s difficult relationship with their half-Drow mother; step back from the way that the Paladin’s player keeps stealing your dice.

This is a game.  Respect the other players.  Respect the story, and act in service of it.  Respect that you will not always get your way, and that not getting your way can be interesting.

Do what is best for the game.  Do what is best for the story.  Be active!  Be positive!  Be interesting!  Change things!  If you can’t walk away at the end of the night with a good memory, with something that you could talk about in the pub in years to come, then everyone at the table has failed.

Some other posters added a few other points.  Well, actually there were a tonne of points made but these are some of the better / more useful ones:

(a) Don’t be a number-cruncher. What we’re trying to do here is to generate a fun, dramatic, and approximately internally-consistent story. Not to operate a rules set 100% correctly. If what floats your boat is statistical analysis, go and do that.

(b) If something happens in the game which appears to be statistically unlikely, try NOT to step out of character to challenge the GM’s ruling. So someone’s just fallen off a 100ft cliff and walks away without a scratch?  Your character, not you, should express amazement.  Trust that the GM knows the nature of the real world just as well as you do – let the explanation emerge in game, not in a discussion ABOUT the game.

Will’s tip number 1) I find that in some of the games I play, we spend between 20-50% of the time doing combats.  In some games (ones I’ve since abandoned), it’s even more than that. I can enjoy a good, quick combat, but when you’re spending 20 minutes reading up on the grapple rules (which are invariably incredibly long and boring) just because someone says ‘I grab his sword off him’, you lose the dynamism of the combat.  The lesson from this is for the GM to know or fudge the rules, or for the player to take the easy option and say ‘screw it, I just attack him again’.

Will’s tip number 2) Don’t roll dice unless the GM makes you.  It’s great to say ‘I make a sanity test to see if my character flips out and runs off’, but it’s even better to roleplay that without messing about with dice.  If the dice are deciding when you roleplay and get into character, I’m not sure you’re doing it right.

Will’s tip number 3) Don’t actually run off.  Splitting the party isn’t bad because it’s unrealistic or because it’s dangerous (it can be the opposite) but it leads to breaks in the action and people waiting for their turn to play.  We’re all playing in our leisure time, and we’re all there to actually roleplay, so, while characters could and should have the limelight from time to time, playing your character in 10-minute sections with NPCs tends to break your immersion.

Will’s tip number 4) Linked to the above, it’s your leisure time.  Never go along to a game when you’d rather be doing something else.  Yes, it’s a real pain for the other players to have their rogue missing or whatever, but it’s much worse for them if it’s clear from your pining face that you’d rather be with your partner or having a nice walk or something.  It won’t work for them, or for you. If you really can’t commit long-term, then stick to one-shots or playing by email.

Yes. It’s an important point to remember that other people are also playing.  Definitly act.  But let others act too.  If you are the sort of person who can instantly work out what to do, that’s great.  But please don’t do it all the time straight away.  Let others who may be a bit slower to think of actions, or who like to not interrupt when others are doing things first, have a go.  From personal experience, I have found myself on the sidelines at times because I am not the loudest or fastest to declare heroic action.  And it interrupts story flow to say “hey my turn” or “oh I was thinking of doing that, just working out my cool line”.  It sounds petty.  So the quieter player may just shut up and go with the flow.
Related point; if it’s not your moment to shine, don’t interrupt the person who is having their moment to ask rules questions, or say you are searching the dead guy.  Let them shine for an act and don’t be a douche.

Corollary to (8) – communicate with the other players.  If something makes you uncomfortable, speak up.  If you don’t like the way things are going, or hate something another player wants his character to do, talk to him.  If someone is breaking the “don’t be a dick” rule, tell them you think their action is not cool.  This is such an obvious point (and underlies several of your points), but often people just don’t do this.  They don’t speak up and spoil their own fun, and this often kills the fun for others, too.  Immersion in tabletop RPGs doesn’t mean having to stay in character all the time, too.


2 thoughts on “11 Ways To Be A Better Player

  1. One thing I’ll add (or highlight) is for players to be the storyteller, too. AFistfullOfDice has a long running D&D 5e game going on his YouTube channel called the Provokers, and it’s freaking phenomenal. Why is it so good? Because all four players are getting into character, telling their story, interacting with each other, and adding to the environment of the game. Many players I’ve seen, like you said above, sit and wait to be entertained or want the story to be made for them. Either that, or they just blindly roll the dice and say “I do 7 damage.” Well.. HOW?! Describe your attack/negotiation/search! Don’t just let the numbers do the talking.

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